I and You
by Ouma
Summary: It all started when Tsukiyama kiss him when Kaneki pretending to sleep. Then he can't seem to look at Tsukiyama the same way again. He is an enemy, right? Or he isn't?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy.**

* * *

If anyone ask him what make Kaneki special then he would simply give an obvious answer.

"It's because he is the one eye ghoul."

If someone ever asks the reason he choose to stay with him then once again he will give another obvious answer.

"I want to eat him."

Then if someone ever notice his treatment toward him are different than others and ask about it then once again he answer with that devilish smile of his.

"Because his interesting and worthy for my eyes to look at."

Tsukiyama one again place that smile on his face when he meet Kaneki the next day, the girl name Hinami that lives together with Kaneki is sleeping in her own room upstairs. Kaneki is sleeping on the couch with a book wide open on his chest while others are on his desk looking messy. He knows well from the start when they first met that Kaneki like reading books.

He chuckles seeing how calm the boy be when his off guard. It's nice to see this kind of expression once in a while than those fake smile that always distant himself from others. So being a gentleman he is, Tsukiyama pick the book and place it carefully on the table leaving it open since he doesn't want Kaneki to be angry for not remembering the page he last read.

Then he carry Kaneki in bridal style with both his arms and take a careful step toward the second floor.

"If you're awake you wouldn't have let me touch you." Tsukiyama says. "It's a bad idea after all for you to give in to your sleep, Kaneki."

"Um . . ." The boy mumbles and shift his position so his body is nearer to Tsukiyama chest to feel the warmness.

" . . . You're still a child despite what happen to you over these months."

So defenceless.

So weak.

So tempting.

Only god knows why he doesn't take this opportunity to devour the boy. In this distance he can already smell those delicious blood flowing deep inside Kaneki body.

"I wonder what you did to change me?" He asks even though he knows the unconscious boy can't answer it. "What kind of spell have you put on me to make me like this?"

Hinami room is just next door to Kaneki, maybe it's because she feel more safer knowing Kaneki is nearby in case something happen. After her mother death Kaneki and his friends take care of Hinami and because of that she start to reconsider him as a family and form a special bond. In his point of view, he can that Hinami though Kaneki as he brotherly and father figure.

Even though he used to be their enemy the girl trust him too easily, she even walk with him without company as if she knows he won't harm her and to make it worse it's true. Seeing her innocence actually make someone like Tsukiyama to feel soft.

Once he has place Kaneki on the bed he take off the eyepatch, he knows that Kaneki wear it to avoid people seeing it turn since being a half ghoul is hard. Being a half human and ghoul is tougher than being a full ghoul.

"Tsukiyama."

For a moment there the boy sounds like a child.

So cute . . .

"Yes Kaneki?"

"Did you bring me here?"

"Yes I did." He smiles. "Go back to sleep now. Tomorrow will be busy as usual and you need a lot or rest."

". . ."

It seems that Kaneki is about to fall into the dream world again.

"Goodnight Kaneki."

He kiss the boy fully on those lips, those pure lips that haven't been touch by anyone but him. His desire for Kaneki flesh is gone and now his desire is for something else, all he wants now is for his heart.

"See you soon." He smirks.

He kneel before he leaves the room giving his final greeting toward the boy. He has sworn to become Kaneki sword and shield and he will do his duty like a royal knight. Even though there's a chance he might die since Kaneki always attract unwanted attention but it doesn't matter. Those insect will he eliminate and those obstacle shall be demolished with his bare hand.

"Tsukiyama kun?" Hinami calls him as she peek outside her room.

"Bad dream?" He asks.

"I dream about mommy."

Tsukiyama chuckles before he enter her room to give the same fairy tale story he always told her. The girl listen as she lean against his shoulder as she hug the teddy bear that Kaneki gives her. She is wearing her pink nightgown while he wears his french suit as always, there is one time she asks him about his style of clothes and he simply tell her that his taste in style is rich.

Well . . .

He did gain a lot of money from the secret event he held that almost kill Kaneki but that's all in the past now.

"Tell me that story." She beg and he simply agree.

The story is about a lonely ghoul that was judge and separate from others. Then his family got killed one day and decide to take revenge on those humans. Humans are evil because they call ghoul a monster and never learn their pain. The ghoul path is hard but at the end he manage to kill all humans and take over the world.

It's a violence story but Hinami didn't complaint since she likes it.

"I'm happy to have Kaneki nii chan and Tsukiyama kun as my family."

"I feel the same way too." Tsukiyama pat her head.

They never know that Kaneki is listening to everything at the other side of the wall, his fingers are on his lips tracing the lines. The taste of Tsukiyama lips can still be felt.

"Idiot." He blushes.

It seems that something about to occur in this house.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy.**

* * *

After that night Kaneki can't stop pressing the tip of his fingers on his lips, he wonder why Tsukiyama even wanted to kiss him? Is it that man intention to fool after they're become close so Tsukiyama can eat him when his off guard. But yesterday is the perfect chance for that ghoul to eat him and there were only three of them in the house at that time since the others ghoul are busy with their life. That day is the perfect chance for him to be kill but instead of being eaten Tsukiyama carry him to his room instead.

_'What is he planning?'_

He felt worry but at the same time he is assure that nothing bad is going to happen.

Shouldn't he feel more anxious knowing a murderer is living in the same place as him but he feel more relax especially since Hinami is staying here as well. Her smile always brighten the mood and make him forget about the danger his in sometimes. Is this bad or good for him? Should he asks someone about this to make sure that he is fine? After that accident he has with Rize he thought that he wouldn't trust anyone too easily but that thought is proven wrong when he let that ghoul to touch him.

When he suddenly heard footstep nearby Kaneki startle and pray that person is just Hinami.

"What's wrong Kaneki kun?" Tsukiyama asks leaning near to the one eye ghoul, his lips are right beside Kaneki ears letting the boy to feel the other breathe. The boy face heated up and his body suddenly froze since he feels a bit angry that his prayer wasn't answer.

_'Oh god, I forget how to breathe.'_

"Kaneki kun?"

"Tsu-Tsukiyama san, what are you doing here?"

_'Stupid question! Why do I have to asks that? It's obvious his living with me.'_

He can hear the ghoul is laughing but the voice is soft and shaky since Tsukiyama is covering his mouth with his hand to suppress his laugh. This is the first time in Kaneki life that he sees the ghoul is laughing like that. He looks almost . . . human. Unknowingly his heart skip a beat startling his entire body before it calms down.

"Cute." Tsukiyama says as he finally remove his hand from his mouth.

_'Is he teasing me?'_ Kaneki thought.

"Wh-what do you mean by that?"

"The way you blush, I'm surprise that a ghoul who has kill an infamous investigator and has defeat few of the strongest ghoul in the area can blush like that. It's quite amusing." He smirks. "I'm very lucky to be able to see the other side of you."

"Half ghoul." Kaneki corrects him.

"Oh my, is my dear Kaneki kun is angry at me?"

"No I'm not."

"Yes, I can see it right through your eyes."

"How can you see it when my side is facing yours?"

"Then why won't you look at me?"

He can't. After that night he can't forget the kiss Tsukiyama gives him. He is still confuse whether that kiss is merely a joke or not. It will be even worse if this ghoul is trying to take advantage on him by giving that kind of affection. He knows well he shouldn't get this matter too much thought but every time he remember it he feels like jumping out from the window and scream all of his voice out.

"Look at me."

Knowing Tsukiyama face is getting closer to his Kaneki quickly look at the opposite side and face the lamp, even though it's not something he likes but its better than facing Tsukiyama. His heart beat is getting to fast that he has to press his hands on his chest hoping that he can manage to calm it down before it start to explode.

"Kaneki kun?"

Please don't say anything. Please!

"Are you angry with me? Did I do something wrong?"

"W-well . . ."

"Or perhaps you are actually awake that night and was embarrass to get your first kiss by a guy until you can't look at my face anymore."

". . ."

"I'm right aren't I?"

Kaneki closes his eyes tightly when he felt Tsukiyama presses his head on his back smelling his hair, it is not a surprise for him since Tsukiyama always has a habit of smelling him ever since they first met using an excuse that his scent smell so sweet and delicious. Then the pair of longs arms wrap around him and invading his private space pulling him to closer to the person body. This warmth is the same when Tsukiyama carry him in the arms that time. Even though they're were an enemy he didn't push this person away. That is something about him that makes him weak like his energy being drain away from every tough, when those hands force him to finally look at that man eyes he feels captivate by those eyes.

Seriously, there has to be something wrong with his eyes. Since the last time he check he is completely straight and as a prove he dated Rize before so it feels weird for him to feel attracted toward a guy. How can a simple kiss can affect him so badly?

"Tsukiyama . . ."

"Want to have a taste of my lips again?" He purrs causing Kaneki to bite his lips to avoid saying something he doesn't want to. Seeing Kaneki trying to control himself the ghoul can't help but want to tease him more by nibble his ear.

"Please stop." He whispers softly.

"Then answer my previous question."

"N-no . . ."

When Tsukiyama place his hand inside Kaneki shirt Hinami quickly get out from her hiding spot and interrupts them.

"What are you guys doing?" She asks innocently.

"Hinami!"

After she appear Kaneki somehow finally find his strength to escape from Tsukiyama and distant themselves, he can see for a second the unpleasant look from the male face after they separate but the smile return back when he greet the girl. Is he disappointed that he doesn't want to be in his embrace?

"What can I do for you today Hinami?" Kaneki asks.

"Do you want to read this book with me together today?" She asks cheerfully as she shows Kaneki the book she has in her hand.

"Sure." Kaneki quickly walk to her side before they decide to start their lesson in the dining room together living the eldest ghoul alone.

After they left Tsukiyama sighs loudly as he cross his leg, it looks like Kaneki does have feelings for him but refuse to admit it. It has to be about the terrible past they have together when he try to eat the boy.

"I guess it's my fault from the start."

Even so he can still see some hope in this relationship after seeing those reaction from Kaneki earlier. If this life is the same as one of those romance story then he wouldn't have any problem in stealing that person heart.

"Ah, I want to taste those lips again."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy.**

* * *

It was supposed to be a normal investigation.

**_"Kaneki!"_**

**_"His hurt, we have to close the wound immediately!"_**

**_"DAMN IT!"_**

But when they about to capture their target, the experiments known as one eye ghoul shown up and try to capture Kaneki. They were also created by the same doctor using few pieces from Rize body to turn them into ghouls which sicken him. How many more has been turn after that accident and why does the doctor still wants him even though he has reject the offer in joining him? Looking at them disgustingly Kaneki and the others have fought to their fullest to protect their leader and kill every one of them. As a result Kaneki was badly injured so he was place into house arrest until his wound recover. So here he is on the bed while the ghoul that he try to avoid is beside him. Using an excuse that he wants to watch over him so nothing bad happens.

"Still avoiding eye contacts?"

"Why are you here in my room?"

"Don't avoid my previous question like last time." The ghoul chuckles seeing Kaneki ears are red. "Still angry your first kiss been stolen by me?"

"Shut up." He pouts. "So mind telling me now what you're doing here in my room?"

"I thought you be lonely since you send Hinami away."

Kaneki had request Hinami to stay in Touka house until he fully recovers to avoid himself from accidentally kill her since he sometimes get out of control from lack of blood. He even asks Yomo and the others to continue their research while Tsukiyama stay to guard him. At first they protest about this knowing well Tsukiyama isn't a very trusty person and knowing well that Tsukiyama intention for joining the group to kill Kaneki but Kaneki insist that they should trust his decision and somehow he manage to convince them to leave them alone.

"I'm surprise you let me be alone with you. What are you planning Kaneki?" Tsukiyama smile in curiosity as he sited on the chair beside the patient bed.

"I don't even know myself Tsukiyama san." Kaneki closes his eyes. "Somehow I start to feel calm when you're around lately."

"Really?" The man lean closer.

"When you're not doing perverted stuff on me so back off." Kaneki shoot the man a glare but it didn't work when it just made the ghoul smile wider. Somehow that smile make his heart pounding even faster than before.

"Ah, Kaneki look so cute when you're embarrass."

"TSUKIYA-" Before he can get up Tsukiyama quickly push him back on the bed.

"Your wound will reopen again if you move too much and since this wound is from a ghoul it will take a few days for it to heal so don't you dare to move." Tsukiyama warns him.

Is he . . . worried?

"I'm fine Tsukiyama san. It's not like this type of wound can kill me since I have experience something even worse than this." He try to joke and Tsukiyama continue to smile and keep his eyes on Kaneki.

Since when did Kaneki start to talk normally to him again? He can't seem to recall it since the way Kaneki is talking as if they have return to the time before they become enemies. Maybe he has given another chance to make things right. And this time he will never again wanting Kaneki to get hurt because of him. If his lucky they might even have lots of progress in relationship than he expected.

"Kaneki. . ."

He place his hand on Kaneki.

"Tsukiyama san?"

How?

How can you still be clueless Kaneki?

Can't you see where this is going?

"I want to kiss you."

Kaneki start to blush hearing those words and try to look away but he can't take his eyes off from Tsukiyama after they make a contact. Tsukiyama keep his eyes on Kaneki as he take the boy hand and give a kiss on his knuckles. Slowly he gulp down his saliva when their face get closer when Tsukiyama start to kiss his wrist to his elbow.

Slowly but surely their distant are getting a bit too close.

Touka is going to kill him if she find out about this since she has warn him about multiple times to be careful of Tsukiyama but as always he can't seem to take her words seriously. His habit for only seeing people good side remains and always keep forgetting about their bad ones. No wonder she always yell at him, she must has worried that he is being too soft and trustworthy. Even though he is older than her but she always seems more mature than him in every way, so does that mean his still childish and spoil. Can he still made the right decision wisely without letting his emotion to take control.

What should he do in this situation? Tsukiyama has confess his feelings toward him. Is it a lie or is it the truth. Just by thinking about it scares him, he doesn't want to get betray once more or he will break. Please tell him this is not a lie. Please . . .

"Kaneki."

He feels chill in his bones when the ghoul hand is tracing on his neck.

"You smell so sweet."

_'Is he going to eat me?'_

Tsukiyama can't help but smirk seeing Kaneki is shutting his eyes tightly feeling afraid of what his going to happen next. Knowing well what Kaneki is thinking the ghoul feel happy that Kaneki hasn't push him away yet, it is clear that Kaneki still doesn't trust him but it is shown clearly on this boy face that Kaneki want to believe that he won't hurt him. Isn't it risky for him to act like this?

So innocence.

Even though Kaneki has kill many ghoul with those hands it doesn't mean his not pure anymore, this boy is still sane since he hasn't seen the truth of this world yet. So it is his job to protect Kaneki from that world, making sure he is safe and continue to do his duty while he will be in the shadow to destroy unnecessary people so Kaneki wish will come true. As long Kaneki is happy then he doesn't mind doing all those dirty jobs.

"Beautiful." He compliments tracing his finger on Kaneki chest. "I wonder how long your guardian can protect you from being tainted by someone like me?"

"What do you mean by that Tsukiyama san?"

Then the ghoul get on top of the bed topping Kaneki, his right leg is between Kaneki causing the boy to shriek when he push it deeper to tease the boy. Seeing Kaneki blush madly and those weak attempt to push him away is so cute. If possible he want to mark him now and fuck him now so Kaneki will become his but he has to be patience. It is Kaneki first time after all.

"I'm going to take your virginity away, how's that sound?" He asks.

"Eh?"

* * *

**Kaneki POV**

WAIT THE MINUTE!

Am I hearing it right? Did he just say he want to take my virginity away? Is this for real? In case he forgets I'm injure for god sake so I'm not in a good condition to have sex.

"Kaneki."

I'm afraid.

"Look at me."

So I look up at him to see his beautiful colour eyes, he looks at me lovingly and give my hand a tiny squeeze. I can somehow tell that his asking me not to be afraid off him and that'd what I did when I squeeze his hand back as a sign that I trust him. Please don't betray me once more, my heart can't take it anymore to handle another betrayer.

"I love you."

He start to lick the bottom of my lips and pull my hand closer to the side trapping me with his weight, his chest press against mine and he press his leg closer to mine. My heart and mo body start to heat up and our heart beat together very fast in sync. I start this weird feeling inside of me when he touches, it's not the same when others make contact with him. I only felt like this because of him and only him. Does he feel the same way as me.

"Kaneki." He says my name with that seducing tone.

I start to moan due to sensation, giving Tsukiyama the opportunity to enter me when my lips are apart. I was a bit annoy that he didn't give me the chance to breathe when he roam around my mouth but I won't complain since I feel good with the way he presses it against mine and our saliva mix. I start to grip his hand tightly because I was afraid. I know that this is just a kiss but it's deeper than the last time and everything his done to me is new. What's going to happen next? Will it hurt? My thoughts are fill with unnecessary things but he manage to empty it by making me focus on us instead.

Our lips are finally parted making me sad that the heat of lips are gone.

"Tsukiyama." I call his name.

He uses his thumb to wipe away the tears that start to form underneath my eyes telling me to calm down. "Do you trust me Kaneki?" He asks.

I stare at him seeing his usual smile is not there anymore. It feels nice that he start to reconsider my feelings instead so I place my hand on his cheek, trying to tell him without using any words that it's alright for him to touch me. He closes his eyes when he feels my hand on his and use his free hand to press mine. He licks my hand to my fingers leaving it wet with his saliva before making me to lick it as well. I did as he told and lick my fingers letting our saliva mix once more, I feel embarrass and bit disgust for doing this but those thought left me when I notice his eyes watching me.

"Please . . ." I said softly.

I don't know what I was begging for but now all I want is for him to touch me. I want to feel his heat all over my body and make me feel safe in his embrace, when he lean down once more to kiss me I can feel his hands is inside my shirt making direct contact with my skin. His hands and lips are so warm that make me want it more so I decide to wrap my hands around his neck pulling him closer. Pulling bit of his hair when our kiss deepen while my pants and boxer are below my knees. This situation just get hot when he strip out from his suit getting half-naked before me letting me get a view on his body. I never know he has six-pack, so that might explain why I can't defeat him in martial art.

"Like what you see?" He asks.

"No." I lie and try to hide my blush while looking away but he force me to look back at him and kiss me once more.

"Look at me, I'm getting tired of you looking away from me."

"Tsukiyama . . ."

"Call me Shuu, call me by my name when there's only the two of us."

Oh god, oh my god!

"Is that alright Ken?" He says my name so easily that almost make me explode in embarrassment. How can he say it with that face? Doesn't he feel anything when calling a lover name? Wait the minute? Am I thinking of becoming his lover?

"S-Shuu san."

"Drop the formality, just call me Shuu."

"Shuu chan."

"Seriously?" He raise his eyebrow and I can't help but laugh seeing him getting annoy. I never now that he can make such a funny face before. He must have been a bit disappoint when he starts to strip my clothes as well. I pull him closer to me when the cold air is felt, I really hate the cold since it remind me of when I was a child. My mom is always busy on helping others that she forgets about me, I love her so much and she loves me as well but as I said before she's too busy for me. If it wasn't for my aunt who always on debts my mom would have pay attention to me.

"It's cold." I tell him.

"Let me warm you up, okay?"

I nod my head and rest my chin on his shoulder letting him handle the rest. This is my first time letting someone seeing me fully naked and today has been my first time for everything making me a bit restless than usual. He starts to press his wet finger inside my butt hole making me shiver in excitement. He must have felt it when he start to press it deeper until the finger is inside me. "You're so warm and tight." he lick his lips when he start to thrust his finger in and out from that hole and as for me I start to let out embarrassing sounds from my mouth. If I know this would happen I would have turn off the lights so he couldn't see my face.

I'm so embarrass.

Now his putting two fingers in and thrust it faster inside of me and has made me start to feel the pain at my bottom. I want to yell at him to stop but he has silence me with his lips again and I find this situation unfair. He said he will be gentle so why does it hurt? Is it because its my first time? I want it to stop but at the same time I don't want his warmth to leave me. I want him, I don't want him to release me from his embrace.

"Tight." He mutters. "You have to relax."

"I-I can't."

"Ken, don't you trust me?"

His right, I must have felt like this because I was afraid nor ready but . . . I believe that I can trust him.

"Yes." I say and kiss him back.

It was then I heard he unzip his pants ad start to rub his cock against mine, thank god that I didn't look at it since something is telling me that the thing is huge . . . can it fit inside?

"It will feel good I promise." He whispers. "You will feel pain at first but then those thoughts will vanish and replace by pleasure."

If I was in my right mind I would have disagree when I heard the word 'pain' but since I'm horny, no thanks to him. I need him inside of me now! At first he thrust the tip of it inside of mine before he slowly getting deeper and deeper inside of me. All I could do now is hold on to Tsukiyama and scream out loud letting my voice echo in the room. He place my leg on top of his shoulder so my leg can be spread wider letting him full access inside of me. My eyes are blurry because the tears that cover my eyes so I can;t see the expression his making now. I call his name loudly hoping he respond back and he did.

"Ken, I'm here. Everything will be aright." He assures me.

Our lips are connect once more as he pull me closer to him letting me sit on his laps. He uses his hand as a support on my bottom as he continue to thrust it within me and I let my mouth open letting a loud moan as he starts to leave marks on my chest.

"Mine." he said calling me as his possession.

Up to this point I don't mind what's going on by now since I'm lost in this pleasure, wanting more of him inside of me. I want him to leave more marks on my body so I can be label as his and for him to pull me closer and swear that he will never leave my side. Does this thought count as love? Do I love him? Is it alright for me to love this dangerous man?

"Ken." He calls my name.

"I coming." I cry. "I can't hold it anymore."

"Let's come together." He smirks.

With one last thrust he come inside of me while I come in front of him, I start to gasp for air and look down at my sticky and sweaty body. I'm exhausted and feels dirty but I have no energy to stand up to clean myself. Also, Tsukiyama cum is still inside of me. I can just feel it starts to drip on the bed sheet and few trail down without stopping so I place y hand behind hoping that I can stop it from coming out. Even though his cum is warm but it feels so weird that its inside of me.

"I told you I will be gentle." Tsukiyama said as he licks the side of my lips.

"Liar." I smile at him and rest me head on his chest. "I regret I actually believe you."

"But you love it don't you?" He run his finger through my white hair.

"Yes." I answer weakly before closing my eyes and fall asleep.

**End of Kaneki POV**

* * *

After that day Hinami can finally come home since Kaneki wound is healing fast than it supposed to so he don't have to worry of hurting her, she seems quite happy that she can finally see her dear brother especially Banjou but when they see Kaneki they both look worried instead.

"Kaneki nii chan, are you alright?" she asks.

"Of course, why do you asks?"

"Well . . ." Banjou scratch his head and flush. "You look pale and . . . red."

"Eh?"

He didn't notice what Banjou actually meant is that he let out a scent and looks more beautiful. Only Hinami knows what actually happen since her mother told her once that every woman let out different scent which is fresh and nice after they have sex. It's like a flower that just bloom and attract bees during mating season.

"Why don't we stay inside and read books Kaneki nii chan?" She says happily as she pushes Banjou out from the room. _'That's until your scent are worn off so you won't accidentally attract more guys than you should.'_

"Sure." Kaneki says happily while Tsukiyama simply nod his head in agreement knowing well Hinami true intention is.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy**

* * *

After that day the distance between them seems closer than usual, Kaneki will often blush when their fingers touch or when Tsukiyama purposely lean closer to him for fun. Hinami simply watch in amuse pretending she doesn't notice any changes in their relationship. Since she knows that her brother will deny everything so no one will find out about them even though it's quite obvious.

Well . . . there are just some people in the house is very slow.

"Why does it seems that this house is more hotter than usual?" Banjou asks.

"Who knows?" Hinami chuckles.

Kaneki's eyes looks towards his right to see Tsukiyama sitting close to him with his arm around his shoulder.

_'Has he always look so handsome?, my heart keeps beating so fast when his near me. I don't think my heart can last any longer.' _He thought.

Then he decides to stand up from his sit.

"Hey, we haven't plan about our next attack."

"We'll do it later." Kaneki speak so quickly that he wonders if they manage to understand what he's saying.

Tsukiyama smile grew wider which makes Banjou giving an uncomfortable look towards him knowing well that smile isn't a good sign. He already knows from the start that Tsukiyama isn't a trustworthy person and hopefully Kaneki will decide to throw him out from the group. He doesn't want anything to happen to any of his comrade nor his leader because of the Gourmet.

"Something's wrong Banjou?" Tsukiyama asks as he stare directly toward his eyes.

"Yes." He answers.

Hinami gulps down, feeling the tension of hatred between them while Kaneki ignore it and decide to escape to his room where he won't hear any sound. It feels nice in once in a while to live in a peaceful environment and only surrounded by books. A place where he can escape from reality.

"I don't trust you." He heard Banjou says before he can exit the room.

His eyes widen when he hear those words and turn around to see Banjou and Tsukiyama is now just an inches closer. As always Tsukiyama has a calm expression while Banjou looks angry at him, Hinami didn't move from her spot. She is trying to say something to stop them but she is speechless.

"The reason you join this group is so you can eat Kaneki so don't you dare acting like you're close to him."

"What can a weak ghoul like you can do? As far as I know you don't even have the right to be angry at me since you're a weakling."

Kaneki feels pain when he sees that smile on Tsukiyama's face. Why didn't Tsukiyama deny the part about eating him, didn't he say that he loves him? Does Tsukiyama still wants to eat him even after he confessed his feelings?

Quickly he runs away heading to the front door and exit the house, it looks like he will just has to read those unfinished book later.

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid. After everything that has happen to me why do I still believe people so easily? Why?'_

Is it okay for him to like someone as dangerous as Tsukiyama?

After he has given his body, his heart and even his soul for that man is it worth it? Knowing well one day once he has fully given himself to him then Tsukiyama would have taken that chance to devour him and he has no power to go against someone he has fallen in love with.

"I can't . . ." He sulks. "I can't love him."

Even though he says that it already clear that a part of his heart has been given to Tsukiyama.

"His an enemy! He will always be and his words are nothing more than lies."

Looking up he find himself in the park, the swings before him gives out a rusty sound as it was blown by the wind. He takes a sit on it before letting his face down. The white hair fall covering his face as he embrace himself for comfort. The memories of the past flashback inside of him, his beloved dead mother, his cruel aunt that has taken everything from him, his only friend Hide, all those ghoul who has save him at Anteiku and Rize.

If only he hadn't met her then he would have still be living as a normal college student with Hide.

Tsukiyama . . .

A ghoul that like to eat delicious meat, the one who almost kill him before. It scares him to think they were enemies.

"I regret feeling like this towards him."

He press his hands on his face feeling the warmth he miss but it is not enough for him. It is not enough to heal the aching pain within him.

"Do you really regret loving me?"

In an instant he uncover his face to see Tsukiyama kneeling before him having the sad expression on his face. He gasp in shock but no sound come out from his mouth when the man take his hands.

"You're an enemy." Kaneki finally says. "That day was a mistake."

"Is it?"

"I shouldn't have let you touch me."

"Then why didn't you push me away now?" Tsukiyama grip his hands.

"You had try to eat me."

"What about now?"

Kaneki bit his lips feeling frustrated, annoy, pain, sadness within him when he was pull closer forcing him to lean down. Their face are just few inches away from each other and all he want to do now is to kiss him. Praying and hoping that Tsukiyama truly loves him and promise that he will never betray him. Even so he has to face reality knowing that none of those will happen, this feelings within him is nothing more than a lie.

"I don't love you." He says loud and clearly.

"But I love you Ken."

"I don't feel the same way."

"Then why are you crying?"

Since when did those tears come out? He never notice it since he is busy denying the feeling inside of him.

"We can't." Kaneki pull his hand away. "Please go away now, I don't want to see your face. We are enemies and I'm just using you to get what I want just like you joining this group so you can just eat me."

"Ken . . ."

"STOP CALLING ME WITH MY GIVEN NAME!" He screams as he close his ears with his hands ingoring the sharp nails slowly entering his flesh.

Tsukiyama quickly pull his hand away from his face and give a forceful kiss on his lips, they both fell on the ground while the swing continue to give out rusty old sounds as the man pin the boy down.

"Let go!"

"I love you." He whispers.

"Stop lying."

"I truly love you."

"Stop saying that!"

"FOR GOD SAKE I REALLY LOVE YOU IDIOT." Tsukiyama shouts angrily for the first time suprising the boy. "It's true that I first join so I can eat you but somehow you do something to make me fall in love with you and now I can't stop my feelings from taking over. My minds keep thinking of you every single day and I keep having wet dreams of having sex with you every single night. I was fucking happy to finally done it with you and even take your virginity away but now you're saying that you don't love me is stupid."

The calm, sadistic and gentle Tsukiyama . . .

Has finally break his composure.

"Very stupid . . ."

Kaneki stare at the man above him with his lips slightly apart, he is speechless and embarrass after hearing what he had said. His heart pound again and again. It start to get worse when Tsukiyama embraces him pressing their chest together letting each other to feel the others heartbeat.

"Tsukiyama san, your heart is . . ."

"This might not be enough prove my love for you." He cut off Kaneki words. "But that doesn't mean I will stop trying." Tsukiyama then bury his face on Kaneki neck.

Slowly Kaneki wrap his arms around Tsukiyama to embraces him back, a smile slowly form on his face and start to closes his eyes.

_'I lose haven't I? I guess this is what Nishiki senpai felt with that girl. Maybe, it is not bad to be betray by someone you love.'_

"I love you Ken."

Kaneki kiss Tsukiyama cheek feeling sympathy for causing Tsukiyama like this. Silently he has decide to let himself to feel like this. He knows well that he might regret this decision one day and he is still confuse whether he loves Tsukiyama or not.

Will Tsukiyama betray him one day? Only god knows what will happen in the future for these two.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy.**

**Please 'ignore' grammar mistake, please . . . . for both our sake.**

* * *

Kaneki continue to lie down on his bed as he stare above the ceiling, after that day he find it hard to look at Tsukiyama face since he keep remembering that time when the man call him an idiot. Slowly he reach out his hand up high and continue to look up as he spread his fingers trying to reach out for something. Pretending he is trying to hold on for something even though there is nothing there.

"Can I trust him?" He asks himself.

His hand fall beside him before he let out a loud sigh.

"Or I'm just too afraid to accept?"

Somehow he can't tell what's right or wrong anymore.

This feeling is so troublesome.

Maybe this is why many people in this world are afraid to fall in love in the first place. What should he do now? Even if he lock himself inside his room won't get rid of his problem and others who live here are starting to get worried about his condition. Tsukiyama knock on his door few times today as well, even though the man didn't say a word but Kaneki can tell easily the person behind the door is Tsukiyama.

"If only there was a cure." He whispers before getting up from his bed. Knowing well everyone is downstairs Kaneki decide to use another way out from the room. Right now he has no intention to see them. "I need some fresh air."

Then he slid the window open before jumping outside.

* * *

"Oh . . ." Tsukiyama startles.

Even Hinami seems surprise when the strong smell is fading away.

"What's wrong?" Banjou asks noticing those two suddenly act strange.

Tsukiyama didn't answer him and quickly make his way out from the house, Hinami didn't say anything either knowing where Tsukiyama is heading. She starts to pray inside her heart that her brother and Tsukiyama will stop this act since she didn't like to see them making sad faces and avoiding each other.

* * *

After escaping from his room Kaneki take his time walking in the city full of people, he already has taken his meal few days ago so he surely be able to control his hunger. Not knowing where to go Kaneki keep walking straight to nowhere letting his legs to bring him somewhere far. The sun is shining brightly today which make him regret a bit for wearing a long sleeve in this kind of weather.

Truthfully he shouldn't wear black all the time especially now since it absorb heat making it worse but since he is a ghoul, he don't sweat as much.

He continue to walk avoid bumping into people, today seems kind of busy when he sees couple holding each other hands and few are entering stores nearby to feel the air conditioner before they come out feeling refresh.

If he wasn't such in a sad mood he would have gone to the bookstore to find new books for him to read.

"What should I do now?"

Usually he will always spend his free time with Hide when his free, they will always be together when they go somewhere. Hide will drag him to a restaurant and pay for them or take him to the autograph session knowing well how much he loves the author works. Hide is a type of friend that everyone in the world will wish to have but that type of friend is the person he has left. In order to keep him safe Kaneki left without a word and break any connection they have with each other.

He slip his hand inside his pocket and fish out his phone. It took him some time to turn on the phone due to hesitation and let his finger press lightly on the small number. Hide phone number still stick in his mind but quickly shake it off and place it back inside his pockets.

There is no turning back now.

He can't go back to his old life after what have happen.

This is who he is now. A half human and half ghoul and it will be a miracle if he able to find someone to change him back to fully human.

"What now?"

His feet have long stop on that spot, noticing the rain drop is slowly falling down from the sky. Everyone around him has started to run and take shelter while he continue to stand the and look up at the grey sky. He feel like a fool for crying here in the public while praying for the rain to help him to cover up his display of weakness.

"That's odd, wasn't it sunny just now?"

He wants to go home but he can't.

He wants to be human once more but it is impossible.

Would it be better if he was dead with Rize?

Will everything will be alright if he haven't met Tsukiyama?

In a distant he can suddenly hear someone is calling his name. That familiar cheerful voice that he recognize, the voice that belongs to someone who is very precious to him. Slowly he look toward that direction even though he knows well it will be one of the greatest mistake he will make that will affect his future. When he sees Hide face, his heart feel lighten for a bit.

"KANEKI!" Hide scream his name.

It sounds sad and hopeful when they stare at each other. Everything start to go slow and even the heavy rain doesn't sound as loud as it used to. Hide is walking toward him while carrying an umbrella and his other hand is holding a book which he knows well that it meant for him. Since Hide is not a book lover like him.

"Hide." He says happily as he look at hide face but then . . . he feels there is something wrong about this situation. Somewhere deep in his heart it wasn't Hide that he wish to see.

A pair of arms wrap around him and familiar warmth is press of his back, knowing well who it is Kaneki didn't push him away.

"Don't go." Tsukiyama whispers.

Kaneki turn to look at his back slowly to see Tsukiyama sad face, slowly he closes his eyes and press his hand on the man hand hoping to comfort him. Then he look back at Hide to see him gasp in shock. Kaneki shake his head as a sign of rejection and when Hide look disbelief just show that his friend understand well what he is trying to say. They are not the same anymore, they can't be together like they used to and this is for the best.

They both are living in a different world.

When he look at Hide eyes is enough to tell Kaneki that Hide has know everything. Even so that won't stop him from coming back, even if it means that they have to be separated again. Tsukiyama release him and pull Kaneki before carrying him in his arms.

Hide finally found his courage to run toward them to stop Kaneki from disappearing once more but he was too late since the ghoul speed is too fast that they vanish in a second leaving him alone in the rain. The umbrella and the book drop on the group and Hide can only shout to let out his frustration.

"Kaneki!" He cries. "Just how long do I have to wait until I can see you again?"

* * *

When Tsukiyama and Kaneki arrive home they were both soak and cold because of the rain, Kaneki was still carried by Tsukiyama and they quickly make their way to his room without a word of greeting. Hinami choose to stay quiet as well as Banjou knowing well that those two have something to settle with each other.

Once they're in Tsukiyama room he place Kaneki on his bed before searching for something to dry them off. He took off his shirt so he won't get a cold and Kaneki only watch from behind trying not to flush seeing well build body.

"Why did you run away?" Tsukiyama asks.

"I need some fresh air."

"You could use the front door like normal people."

Kaneki stay quiet when he hear the slight change of tone in Tsukiyama voice, it feels like the ghoul try to contain his disappoint and anger within for Kaneki action today.

"I'm sorry." He softly apologize.

Tsukiyama finally find some towel and hang one around his shoulder before he use the others to dry off Kaneki hair. Kaneki closes his eyes when he feel the amount of pressure on top of his head as Tsukiyama press and start rustling it.

"I was worried you're going to run off toward your human friend."

"I won't." Kaneki quickly says.

He doesn't understand why he suddenly says that but it feels like Tsukiyama will misunderstanding something. Since when has he been so restless?

"You . . . Did you follow me?" Kaneki asks.

"Yes, I was worried."

"Then why did you choose that time in the rain to take me home, why didn't you take me sooner?" He asks desperately as if he wants to confirm something. "Tell me Tsukiyama san." Just what exactly did Kaneki want from the Gourmet?

"I saw you crying."

Tsukiyama hand stop and the towel fall on his side which he ignores.

"At that time I don't know whether to comfort you since there is a chance you will push me away." A sad smile form on his face. "Thinking about the rejection will hurt me Kaneki. My heart won't be able to take it anymore."

They are back to call each other by family name again?

"When I see that human calling your name I was angry, I hate the way he look at you with those eyes and I know I can't let him have you."

He kneel and take Kaneki hand with his.

"If possible I would like to lock you inside a cage where no one else but me can have you but that will be so cruel wouldn't it? Even though you are not mine doesn't give me permission to harm or betray you because of my greed."

Kaneki swallow his saliva as he watch Tsukiyama kiss his knuckles. He feels like a sad girl in a touching drama where she's about to be separate from her dear lover and never see each other again.

"I-I can't take it anymore." He says as he lower his head. "I used to be a normal college student before my life turn upside down and turn into a ghoul. Then I have to start fighting for my life which everyone in the world seems to go after to. The investigators want to kill me because I'm dangerous. The past, present and future are scaring the shit out of me. I have to leave everything I once knew to protect everyone I love by leaving them behind. Also it get worse after that day you first kiss me."

Kaneki look up letting their eyes met for the first time today.

"Why can't I stop thinking about you? It start to get annoying but I can't get you out of my mind. Why are my feelings so confusing when you're so close to me? What have you done to me Tsukiyama san?"

Tsukiyama warm smile suddenly return and his hand is now place on Kaneki shoulder pulling Kaneki closer until their nose are only an inch away.

"What do you think Ken?"

Wait! His back to calling his name again?

"How do you actually feel about me?"

Kaneki shake his head not knowing how to answer the question.

"Ken." He calls his name lovingly. "Do you love me?"

He start to press his lips against him.

"Do you?"

Another kiss on his cheek this time.

"Or do you not?"

Kaneki grip Tsukiyama shirt when the man in on top of him, pushing him down on the soft bed with his clothes still on.

"I . . . I. . ." He feels speechless as Tsukiyama press both his hands keeping him in this position, he lick the boy neck before he give a small bite that's enough to leave mark on his body. Kaneki closes his eyes letting Tsukiyama to take advantage of this to give a forceful kiss on his lips, their tongue presses a few times before he press it at the back of his giving shiver to his entire body.

"You really are persistent."

"I guess I am."

"What do you like about me instead of my taste?" Kaneki asks.

"It's-" Tsukiyama pause giving a light squeeze on his hand as if he is hesitating. "The sacrifice you made, your selfishness, the fakeness you show to hide your pain and most of all the thoughts of knowing you will disappear if I get my eyes off you for even one second."

"Tsukiyama . . ."

"You know better than I am Kaneki, that someday you will leave me and everyone one day if you continue with that attitude and personality. You're so selfish for doing whatever you want while saying it if for the best for us even though those words hurt us thrice more than it hurts you."

Has he causing him pain this entire time?

"I guess that's the time I see the real you, the time I realize I must never let you go or I will regret forever."

Kaneki bite his lips when he sees Tsukiyama crying before him, the cruel ghoul he once know is crying and it's all because of him.

"I'm sorry." He starts to apologize. "I'm so sorry."

They both embrace each other for comfort, wiping away each other tears and licking away the wound they caused. Kaneki continue to mutter the words of apology as he has his arms around Tsukiyama and the Gormet continue to rub Kaneki back. He was glad that he has taken off his shirt earlier or he would be wetter than before because of Kaneki tears.

Slowly he use his free hand to take off Kaneki shirt as well before cover them with the warm sheet.

"Sleep." He whispers and Kaneki obeys before closing his eyes with their arms around each other. "I love you Kaneki." He says before Kaneki close his eyes and let his last tear to fall before he fall unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ignore my grammar mistake and enjoy.**

* * *

After that day Kaneki wanted to say everything has gone back to normal but it start to get worst instead. First, he start to get emotional than before which surprise Tsukiyama sometimes. Second, he keep omitting the food he eat so Tsukiyama has to search all over the place for the meat which he can eat. Third, he feels tired than usual which worries the others.

Hinami and Banjou start freaking out and become overprotective than they should. They even set a rule that Kaneki must not step out from his room until his fine. Kaneki feels a bit sad that they even lock his window so he won't suddenly disappear again and Tsukiyama keep an eye on him more than usual. Most of all is because the guy is worried about this sudden change.

Kaneki also looks paler than usual and lost colour on his face and he start to gain weight despite the lack of food. Tsukiyama start to get suspicious when he sees Kaneki body is different from usual but he decide not to think too much about it since the body part is only a few centimeter different than usual.

"I think I'm sick." Kaneki confess and he lie his body on the back with the help of his lover.

"Ghoul never got sick unless they keep eating human food." Tsukiyama says as he presses his forehead against Kaneki to check the temperature.

"Like Touka chan?"

Tsukiyama pat his head gently as he gives a warm smile. A thick book is on his laps for him to read as he watch over Kaneki. Everyone in the house has been remind to never leave Kaneki alone ever since his mood keep appearing.

"It feels just like the first time I found out that I was a ghoul, every food I eat will taste disgusting and my body refuse to digest it."

"Ken . . ."

The man leans down and kiss Kaneki head.

"It's okay, I will find out what's happening to you. I will ask the people from Anteiku if I have to. Let just hope the two people who are working there won't try to kill me since we have terrible past." He laughs. "Or maybe I should take this chance to see who's the strongest."

"Really? You will do that for me?"

"Of course since you're my everything."

Tsukiyama kiss Kaneki fore head once more before puling the cover to keep Kaneki warm.

"Go back to sleep, I will be back as soon as I can."

Kaneki bid him goodbye and closes his eyes.

* * *

After he wakes up he feels slightly surprise to see Touka and Yoshimura beside him, what surprise him the most is to feel Yoshimura hand on top of his tummy and a serious expression stuck on his face. Touka smiles at him a bit before pinching his cheek as a punishment for making her worried for not answering her call.

Tsukiyama is at the corner looking slightly nervous as he bite his thumb. That's unusual, why happen to make Tsukiyama like that?

"I see you're awake." The old man smiles at him.

"Yes, it has been a long time hasn't it?" He asks.

After the old man remove his hand from Kaneki tummy, the boy pull his shirt down before he sits up. Touka suddenly being so kind help him and use the pillow to support his body.

"Tsukiyama suddenly show up in our shop because you were sick."

"That's right." He nods his head.

Tsukiyama face suddenly change which make Kaneki nervous as well, it feels like the old man is trying to tell him something very important.

"You and . . . Tsukiyama are very close these days, am I right?"

"Y-yes."

"Are you two lovers?" He asks and his tone changes. It feels like the strict principal from his fomer high school is asking him if he is involve in illegal activities.

"Y-yes." He blushes and Touka start to gives her death glare at Tsukiyama but the guy just smile at her knowing well she won't dare to do anything to him since Kaneki just confirm their relationship.

"Have you both . . . have sex about one or two weeks ago?"

Kaneki face redden in embarrassment, why would Yoshimura asks him that kind of question? Why is he even interest in his private life anyway? Even so after he sees the look that the old man is giving him Kaneki decide to answer with a nod.

Yoshimura gives a sigh as he put his hat on top of his head and nod back at him.

"Kaneki, it looks like you aren't sick at all."

"Eh?"

"With your answers to all of my question I have confirm the fact that you are indeed pregnant with Tsukiyama child. Congratulations."

Pregnant?

Did he just say pregnant?

"I'm a guy!" He shouts and Touka quickly place her hand on his shoulder to calm him down and tell him to listen to Yoshimura explanation. At that time Tsukiyama come close to him and take his hand, he feels a bit better when Tsukiyama kiss him on the cheek and place his arm around his shoulder.

"It seems that the doctor has transplant Rize female organs inside of your body which enable you to get pregnant." Yoshimura says. "I guess that explain why your scent smells like a woman when I see you."

Kaneki doesn't seem to take this news well and he feels even worse than before. Hopefully this isn't a sign that he is going to omitting again.

"It's our child." Tsukiyama smile is so bright due to happiness which makes Kaneki want to smile back but ge can't.

"Shuu san." Kaneki is shaking in fear and quickly embrace his lover. "I'm scare."

"Everything will be alright, I will be here for you." His lover pat his back knowing the cause of Kaneki worried. They have so many enemies around them and Kaneki must have been afraid knowing that he is pregnant and many things can happen at anytime and kill his child.

"I can't do this." Kaneki cries.

"Yes you can, we will protect you and make sure nothing happens until the child is born."

"But . . ."

Tsukiyama quickly silence him with a kiss to comfort him and asks softly for the others to leave them alone. Yoshimura and Touka waste no time to get out from the room to leave those two alone. Before she shuts the door Touka give a worry glance before she closes it.

"I never plan on having a child." Kaneki whispers. "What should I do?"

"We will think of it together." Tsukiyama says as he push Kaneki body down as gently as he can and get on top of him. "The truth is I also never plan on having children as well but it seems that nothing can go as we plan."

"Shuu . . ." He closes his eyes when Tsukiyama lean down to kiss his neck before stepping back to kiss his tummy.

"I will protect both of you. I promise so there is no need for you to be afraid anymore, I'm here for you."

"Please hold me."

Tsukiyama chuckles to see Kaneki cute expression before he pull Kaneki shirt up and kiss his skin this time.

"I love you Ken."

At that day Tsukiyama didn't let Kaneki go and continue to embrace him knowing well that it will get tougher from now on. All he could do now is hope that nothing is going to happen so Kaneki will continue to be safe within his arms.


End file.
